A High Take on Lady Gaga’s Latest Album: Perfect for 4/20 Vibes!

A while ago, I had the (high) idea to review Lady Gaga’s new album, Mayhem, while getting progressively higher, using my personal “high scale” to keep track of how blasted I am during the process. 

It felt like a ridiculous concept – and it is – but my editor pushed me to lean into it.

So behold: my real-time review of my first Mayhem listen, with the help of a lot of weed.

No Weed

It’s 4 pm. I just woke up from a nap on the couch. My neck is killing me, and my joints aren’t too happy either. I keep yawning, and I’m beyond grumpy. Between the grogginess, discomfort, and general feeling that something’s wrong, it’s time to smoke.

But the experiment needs a control, so I put on my headphones and connect them to my phone before unfurling from beneath my blanket. To my surprise, I charged both my phone and headphones last night – they’re powered up and ready for action.

I close my eyes and try to relax with some deep breaths but it doesn’t do much. Time to turn on Mayhem.

An immediate smile crosses my face, even though the first song, Disease, has been out for a while at this point. I travel back in time to 2008’s The Fame, except now I’m a gay adult and not a gay kid. 

The album seamlessly transitions into Abracadabra and my head starts bopping. I’m ready to take a dab.

Buzzed

Oh wow. Garden of Eden is playing. Harmonies, heavy synth, late 2000s/early 2010s “c’mon”s in the background. I’m careful about not dabbing too much because it’s easy for me to skip the Buzzed step of the ladder accidentally.

Perfect Celebrity is an interesting song to listen to while staying in the Buzzed territory. I feel a bit more connected to the music in this state, and I see why some people like to stay at this level of intoxication. 

Vanish Into You starts and as much as I would love to relish in the subtle but enjoyable Buzzed state, the song lulls me to start thinking about the dab rig again. As I write this, I smile widely at the simple and comforting drum beat that appears in so many pop songs (and I mean that in a good way).

“When I die, can I vanish into you?” And then just like that, the album transitions into a completely different vibe. 

High

Gaga immediately starts Killah with “Standing at the corner smoking that grass,” and she doesn’t have to tell me twice.

I hit the High mark with about a minute left of the song when the instrumentals start to get funky, and I felt amazing when Zombieboy starts.

I’m really nodding with the music for the first time, like not just because it’s good, but because I’m High. I look outside my window and see all the cars and pedestrians. My partner put on a cute jacket because I opened the window a few minutes ago, and I keep looking up and smiling at them. 

Oh, the new song now. “I hear the music and it takes me by surprise.” How the heck did she know? Maybe I should look at how I’m doing timing-wise. 

Oh my god, the vocal melody in LoveDrug is insane. All the jumps during the chorus, I mean, come on. 

I put this song on repeat and returned to the dab rig. I need to experience this stoned.

Right, my timing. LoveDrug is song 8 out of 14, and I’m on step 3 out of 7 of my ladder. Nearly perfect if you turn them into ratios (it took me a while to think of that word.) I hope this all makes sense later.

Okay, now I’m putting my laptop down for real and getting Stoned. Finally. And this song is staying on repeat- I’m not ready to move on from it yet. At this point, I’ve turned the volume up at least four times even though I try to be careful about protecting my hearing. This is inner child healing and it gets a pass.

Stoned

It takes a bit of time to get stoned, mostly because I’m being careful to pause and evaluate how I’m feeling before taking more dabs. It’s a really important skill for cannabis users- and all drug users- to have. This scale is part of what helps me keep track of how I’m feeling.

I know I’m Stoned when I get distracted looking at the Spotify visuals while taking LoveDrug off repeat.

How Bad Do U Want Me is on its last chorus by the time I can power through my new Stoned state and finish this sentence. Anyway, it was really good and makes me excited for the youngins to experience Gaga at her prime. The song deserves more attention than I’m giving it. There’s a lot to be said about subtle sexual messaging in music, specifically the bad girl trope. I think this song is probably going to be one of the standouts of the album.

Don’t Call Tonight is playing now, and I’m thinking about how empowering it feels to listen to. I feel like Gaga is singing at all my exes for me. (I’m pausing the music so I can flesh out this thought.)

The power behind her voice when she sings the lyric “Don’t call tonight!” is so palpable. It’s not a woe-is-me breakup song, although those are much needed. She’s like, you messed up, you missed your chance, leave me alone because I have better things to do. Don’t call tonight!

The next song is Shadow Of A Man, and I’m interested in seeing how it fits into the theme of the last two songs, specifically. Oh, this is a bop. “I can’t get enough.” OH, the chorus. Wow. This is going on repeat, and I’m getting Stoney Balogne. I hope I can better express how exciting this song is once I’m vibing even harder.

Also, my pain went away a while ago. It’s almost like weed is both medicine and a drug.  Really cool stuff. And I noticed that the last song features Bruno Mars. I have a visceral bodily reaction of doubt, but I trust Gaga.

Stoney Balogne

I switch from live resin to rosin this time when I load my dab rig, because now that we’re getting higher up the scale it’s a better bang for your buck. Also because, why not? I know I’ve reached Stoney Balogne pretty easily, because I started thinking to myself, “Wait, which level am I trying to reach right now?” and I feel like that’s indication enough.

I spent a lot of time, Stoned listening to Shadow of a Man on repeat while reading the lyrics, and I’ve decided that Gaga may have accidentally written a transmasc anthem. At least as a trans man, the song speaks to me in that way. I mean, pretty much every verse has lyrics I could point to, but for ease, I’ll just direct you to the chorus:

“I don’t wanna fade into the darkness tonight

Show me the light

I don’t wanna be the one to fall on the knife

To come alive

I’m about to be there, I’m about to be there

Watch me, I swear

I’ll dance in the shadow of a man.”

This is NOT to imply that trans men are the “shadow of a man”. In my interpretation, this song can be about a man realizing he’s trans and deciding he’s ready to start living as himself (“I’m about to be there, I’m about to be there/ Watch me, I swear.”)

Coming into manhood can be incredibly complicated and confusing. We spend our whole lives receiving messages about gender, and in the process of stepping into yourself you have to learn how you personally experience…this is hard to explain while Stoney Balogne. I have to pause the music to focus.

We spend our whole lives getting messages about what it means to be a man, so then when you’re first out it’s really easy to feel like you’re “in the shadow of a man” because you’re figuring out how the heck to be a man and how to fit in with those around you in this new way. Eventually, you realize it doesn’t matter and there’s no right way to be a man, and the shadow feeling goes away over time. 

I know that Gaga wrote the song as a commentary on power dynamics between genders, specifically how women are capable of doing amazing things regardless of the men who put them in the shadows. I think it’s beautiful that the wording unintentionally also lends itself to the transmasc experience, especially because Gaga has had the trans community’s back since day 1. (To be transparent, I added this paragraph after I sobered up a bit because I wanted to do the topic better justice.)

Moving on. The Beast is such a vibe. While still intense lyrically and emotionally, it’s slower and feels like a moment to both rest and process the album thus far. Process the fact that Gaga gave us this album nearly 20 years after The Fame. She knew that we all really needed the comfort that we felt in her music all that time ago- perhaps because she needed it too.

There are two songs left, and two levels of the scale left. Now is a good time for a snack/water/stretch break before getting to really go crazy.

Baked Ziti

Now I’m Baked Ziti and oh my gosh it rocks. My friend told me today about how when he interned at Electric Lady the musicians smoked a LOT of pot. He would have to get it for them sometimes even. These are fun facts for sure, and good for an icebreaker.

Anyway, my point is that weed truly is a key that can unlock new aspects of music, the melodies bass, drums, and effects all become more apparent, it’s like a superpower. Both for listening and writing.

I was listening to The Beast while writing all that to get back into the groove of the album and article. Now, Blade of Grass is coming up.

Repeat. There’s a vulnerable lightness to her voice that’s reminiscent of Joanne, which the instrumentals also mirror in the first verse. The second verse brings in some heavier effects on the drums…

A lift when the extra effects subside and it’s just her pure voice, bringing butterflies…

Landing gently into a bubblegum pop bassline that feels safe because it’s Gaga and I trust her with my emotions.

It’s building…

Things are stripping back again, with tension, resulting in a key change! (At least according to my Baked Ziti ear.)

Now it’s upbeat and marching on, SO old Gaga, belting. 

Most dynamic song of the album so far, I’m going to stop typing and just listen to it on its own now so I can really feel everything I was writing about. I imagine my heart will be broken.

Describing the delicacy of a relationship through the metaphor of a blade of grass tied around her finger, the hurt that she held alone for so long being held together with the help of another so gently and lovingly. We’re all very lucky that she shared this song with us.

Literally, how the heck is she going to tie this album up with one song that has Bruno Mars on it?

Baked Ziti Al Dente

When I’m getting Baked Ziti Al Dente (woah these keys are so bouncy!) I’m always like, “I’m already so high, how will I know when it’s time?” But the beautiful thing about the scale is that it’s personal, and with practice, you get to know where your sweet spots are. So I kinda just like, know when I reach it. 

I can’t believe we’re here, at the last song, and I’m Baked Ziti Al Dente. What is my job?? I’m so lucky to get to do this. I hope it ends up telling a story, I don’t know what kind of story, but I hope there’s some kind of arc in this article that shows a journey of me at these levels and how my brain works as I work my way up. It’s going to be kind of funny, I think, at the very least, but I don’t want it to just be silly. I just hope my vision ends up panning out. 

No matter what, this was so much fun for me.

I’m pressing play now.

This is going to be really hard to do justice, wow. 

So the first thing is that I need to go back and listen to Blade of Grass. No, I need to look at the whole album.

Okay, so we start with Disease. “I can smell your sickness, I can cure your disease.”

Abracadabra, “It’s like you’re both in a trance.” “Death or love tonight?”

Garden of Eden, “My excuse to make a bad decision.” “I’ll take you to the Garden of Eden.”

Perfect Celebrity, not a love song, “Sit in the front row, watch the princess die.”

Vanish Into You, “Do you see me now? I’ve been waiting for you cryin’ out.”

Killah, “Hungry for a homicide.” (And damn, that crazy high note at the end of the song is insane.)

Zombieboy, “I could be your type, from your zombie bite.”

LoveDrug, “I don’t wanna feel, I don’t wanna cry…I just need a hit of your lovedrug.”

How Bad Do U Want Me?, “Cuz you hate the crash, but you love the rush, and I’ll make your heart weak every time.”

Don’t Call Tonight, “You pull me close and knock me down, then I beg to come back around.”

Shadow Of A Man, “Cuz I won’t be used for my love and left out to cry.”

The Beast, “I know you’re hungry, ready to bite, I wanna watch you turn tonight.”

Blade of Grass, “I’ve been so lonely in this field, fighting a battle with no shield.”

Die With A Smile, it’s indescribably hopeful. It’s a completely different feel from the rest of the album. Kinda beachy and rocky – a bursting power ballad – but the harmonies evoke so much hope and joy and the song is just bursting with love. “If the world was ending, I’d wanna be next to you.” 

Behind all of these fun dance songs, there is a gaping honesty in the lyrics. And that honesty includes a lot of darkness, a lot of push and pull, a lot of hurt. Even if it’s just tucked into one line of a song. There were songs about cheating, dancing, doing drugs, having sex, and being a celebrity, all with this fascination and draw towards the absolute deepest bits of truth to the human experience. 

Gaga put together this album that finds so much joy and thrill in the mysterious, I mean, think about The Fame, and the levels of darkness that she had to publicly do stunts of (meat dress!) because this is where she lives. She takes the darkness and really feels it and transforms it into something we can enjoy and find solace in. Her artistry comes from her ability to make ugly things beautiful. 

And then the album ends with the end of the world, and somehow, it’s so hopeful.